1:33PM - You are Somewhere (Thoughts in the Dark)

Dear person,

As night comes, I find myself lying in bed amidst the ever growing darkness of my room -the blackness and emptiness of the long night to come, like raging flood waters having no boundaries to contain it, quickly engulfs the walls, the ceiling, the floor, reaching unto my bed and eventually into my heart as I start to float away from reality and begin to drift into the rapids of nocturnal slumber. Alone, I go far from my room. I dive deeper and deeper into the everlasting shadows of nowhere.

Somewhere, where ever it may be, someone else is drifting alone in his own darkness. Down his murky stream of empty waters he is drifting closer and closer…someone I am bound to collide. Our paths will eventually traverse as our watery course pour us into one ocean; our ocean.

In the ocean we will crash into each other, unexpectedly in the pitch black of the night. The collision is so fierce the darkness is driven away by the impact. Like the inevitable daylight piercing through the darkness of every night, our awaited encounter brings an end to our suffocatingly dark and lonely nights. We are no longer drowning for we now have each other to keep afloat above the most vicious of all nights. You holding me as I you…

It’s the morning. I surface from my slumber. I am alone, still yet to collide with you. I continue my wait and hopes that you are floating closer with each black of the night. Until then, I will continue to drift into it all alone.

Night comes again.

Always,

Anton Mikhail Garsola

2:59AM - *Sigh*

i like a good friend, who happens to be straight...it's an extremely difficult situation to be in.

10:15AM - manhood

today, I am a man.

The law states that a minor is no longer a minor when he or she turns 18. So one can conclude that anyone under 18 is (basically) still a "child". So this would mean that as soon as the minute hand passes 11:59 pm, ticking away to the day of my birthday, I am automatically no longer a "child" and have become a full grown adult.....wow, I absolutely cannot simply wait for that day when my life takes into a different light; the light of "adulthood". It almost feels like one of those ancient traditions where the father sends his 14 year old son out into the wilderness alone for a week and sees if he can survive. If the boy comes back alive, then he is no longer a boy, but a man. I am like that in a way. I have to sleep the night before my birthday and then, as if I had spent a week in the wilderness, I wake up a man the next day when I am offically 18. wow, what a great system we have where age marks the turning point of adulthood and not maturity or experience. bravo. it's just pure genious right?

yes.


-anton

2:03PM - LES MISERABLES

2:29PM

Even with the dance classes I have taken, I still feel the same way I did last school year. I'm a little worried that I didn't improve as much as I was suppose to for this coming school year...

Broken dancer.

Current mood: worried

12:56PM

Went to the Palm Springs Jacinto Mountains. And surprisingly enjoyed every second of it. Hiking was priceless. Doing it with family, was irreplaceable.













-anton

10:27PM

heart stopping pranks are so not cool.

6:19PM

Dear anyone,

I'll miss you for the next few days. As you know my family bought a third home in the Las Vegas Nevada suburbs [barf]. Actually it isn't bad, it's just that I don't know anyone there and all my neighbors are just soo...ehhh what's the word, sofisticated? [if that's even how you spell it.]
Well, my parents are happy with their home there. And they might retire there anyways since it's soo damn quiet 24/7. I won't have the luxury of internet access during my stay there since the place is still pretty new. I won't be able to see Sara and Courtney :( But soon we'll hang out ;)
I got to go finish packing. Good-bye.

-anton

4:07PM - The Girls Day Out

A day with Sara and Myself ^_^
Can you say funtastic???





-anton

Current mood: yayaaaaaa

7:42PM

I found myself alone by a side walk. And in case you don't know, sidewalk + you - friends = getting in touch with yourself. So out of no where, I start thinking about life; you know, all the "deep" things. I realized I kept asking myself the same question, "What have I accomplished in my life?" and everytime, I could not produce an answer. Which brings me to another thought, how old does someone have to be in order to have accomplished something in his lifetime? Am I possibly too young? Or just slow stupid and lazy...which in this case, is soo a possibility.

I didn't know I had so much questions. But then I guess everyone has his/her own questions. It just depends whether the person is willing to let himself ask it. Life is an endless question until you are truly happy. I believe that to be true. I feel happy, but as natural people, you can never be too happy. Could this be humanity's disease? Will people always ask for more?

-anton

Current mood: In thought

10:26PM - Once Upon a Youth Group

Along with other things, been spending some time with a Youth Group in the St. Genevieve's Private School this summer, and I'm loving every second of it...





\
The End...for now.

Current mood: :)

11:30AM - Umm Hi?

I stopped using livejournal because I got way into myspace. And I have finally admitted it. I guess you could say that LJ was too critical thinking for me and I just settled with the picture views of myspace...and pointless commentaries of "HOT PIC" and "SEXY pose" etc.
But I am seriously without a doubt bored and have nothing to do...It's the middle of summer and I am in the middle of summer school in CES>>and literally have finished all my work for the entire U.S. History unit.

Sara is next to me looking up pictures of nude boys...aka Ricky Ullman. HOT!!! anyways, many things have happened [I guess] during the duration of my last entry. One of the recent is a boy who we call Jay aka Juan :) whom Sara and I cannot figure out if he's gay or straight. Aside from stupid boy crushes, I have been struggling with other things; not serious things, but things I can say I am fortunate enough to have and keep me busy while I go through summer and summer school.

I will be using LJ again. But it won't mean I am giving up myspace. I do admit I still do like myspace a lot. I just think taking breaks is a good thing ;)

-anton

p.s. I hate myself for this, but im gonna say it anyways because im hoping someone can relate...
i met this guy at a fanily gathering, and i thought he was super cute and gay. But shortly found out after that he's a cousin of mine......

Current mood: chipper

Current music: Justin Timberlake's "Sexy"

7:47PM

ok yesterday there was an audition for the alvine ailey intensive work shop in new york. If accepted, you can take the classes for six weeks...
now comes the annoying and frustrating part on my behalf.
I did not audition because my mother never supports me in the field of performing arts esp. dance...but just today, the day AFTER the audition, she decides that this work shop would have been a good experience after all. WTF!?!?! now when there is no more audition, she says i can do it.....
UGH!!!!!!! she is sooo freakin irritating me right now!!!

-anton

p.s. my phone is broken...dropped it so i can't use it...

10:23PM

ugh!!! schenker...

12:35PM

Current mood: ......

5:26PM

2:44PM

5:35PM

so my time in vegas was priceless because i woke up to this...

1:32PM

9:09AM